'tis the season . . .

i have been absent from the blog scene for a while. mostly due to work and work, and oh, a little bit of work. seems my absence has not gone unnoticed – especially from the kentucky contigent - gene et al. part of the 'et al' even sent me an email to get off my ass and write a blog (i'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with priss). so here i am, one day removed from christmas eve - 30 minutes away from picking up ewa at the aiport, the cable out, and me resigned to surfing the web and writing a blog.

instead of trying to recap what has happened in the past two weeks since i have last regaled you with my magical tales, i will simply say that all is well. . . .actually, all is great. things with ewa are great, things with work are great, my roommate moved out and i have my own place. . .great. went on a trip to new york a few weeks ago . . .great. . .all is good with the world. there - you are all caught up.

now it's time to rant for a while. my boss brought up a good point today when i mentioned that my estranged sister was coming into town for the holidays today. i was telling him how tough it was going to be on certain members of the family, and he brought up the point that the holidays in in of themselves are not stressful, it is the act of trying to throw everyone in a room and making them smile. instead of sitting around in a room where people are not well lubed with booze and sated with food and getting everything out in the open, we keep it all inside, grit out teeth, grin, sigh, and pour our collective conscious a double of whatever is in site.

even the utmost mention of anything not happy happy joy joy brings the always popular remand, 'why do you need to bring that up now, it's the holidays?!" the funny thing is, this is the only time everyone will be together until. . . .next year. . . hmmm.

so here is my suggesgtion, this year, instead of a gift for everyone, hand out cards to everyone (and include yourself in this) with their most glaring problem (stealing, drinking, cheating - you know, the good stuff), and at dinner, make them all open them and read the contents. for example, "I am uncle joe and i cheated on aunt sally six times this year." of course everyone will act shocked - "Oh my GOD! How could you!!", etc. when in reality, everyone already knew and is secretly heaving a sigh of relief that it is out in the open and they don't have to walk on eggshells around poor aunt sally, especially her sister jane, who is one of the six sluts uncle joe slept with. continue with this until everyone has read their card, all the issues are out on table, and you are satisfied. now everyone is happy, their conscious is free, the stress is gone, and you saved christmas - your a god damn hero! plus think of all the money you saved. . . .the holidays have never been so easy.